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Virtual Chaos: How to Stop Dysfunctional Behavior in Remote Meetings
September 6, 2024
Don’t Let Dysfunction Destroy Your Remote Meetings

Welcome to the New Battlefield—Your Remote Meeting
Your team may be scattered across different time zones, sitting in their home offices, but the battleground for productivity remains the same: your virtual meeting room. Unlike the physical office, where you can catch subtle cues and pull someone aside for a quick chat, remote meetings come with their own set of unique challenges. And when dysfunction strikes in this digital environment, the impact is amplified. If you’re noticing more tension, disengagement, or outright chaos in your remote meetings, it’s time to take action—before your team’s potential is completely derailed.
The Hidden Dangers of Disconnection—Why Remote Teams Struggle Remote work has its perks—flexibility, no commute, the comfort of home—but it also comes with significant risks, particularly when it comes to team cohesion. When team members are miles apart, the sense of connection that naturally forms in an office can quickly deteriorate. This disconnection doesn’t just make meetings awkward; it lays the groundwork for dysfunctional behavior.
In remote meetings, the lack of physical presence makes it easier for participants to disengage, misunderstand each other, or hide behind technology to avoid confrontation. Miscommunication becomes rampant, and small issues that could have been resolved with a quick in-person conversation snowball into major conflicts. Before you know it, your meetings have devolved into unproductive sessions where dysfunction is the norm.
Dysfunction in the Digital Age—The New Rules of Engagement The first step in combating dysfunctional behavior in remote meetings is to establish clear rules of engagement tailored to the virtual environment. Traditional meeting norms don’t always translate well to video calls, where technical issues, time delays, and the lack of non-verbal cues can lead to frustration and confusion.
The Digital Disruptors—Common Dysfunctional Behaviors in Remote Meetings Dysfunctional behaviors that were once subtle in in-person meetings can become glaringly obvious in a remote setting. Here’s how to identify and address them:
Bringing Focus Back—How to Refocus a Derailing Remote Meeting Even with the best-laid plans, remote meetings can sometimes go off the rails. Here’s how to get things back on track:
The Long-Term Fix—Building a Culture of Accountability in Remote Teams Stopping dysfunctional behavior in remote meetings isn’t just about quick fixes; it requires building a culture of accountability and engagement over the long term. Here’s how:
Conclusion: Don’t Let Dysfunction Destroy Your Remote Meetings Remote work is here to stay, and with it, the challenges of running effective virtual meetings. Dysfunctional behavior in these settings can quickly derail productivity, undermine team cohesion, and lead to frustration all around. But by setting clear expectations, fostering active participation, and addressing issues head-on, you can stop dysfunction before it takes hold.
Remember, your remote meetings are a reflection of your team’s overall health. By taking steps to ensure they run smoothly, you’re not just preventing dysfunction—you’re setting your team up for long-term success in a digital world.
Don’t let virtual chaos take over; take control of your meetings and watch your team thrive.
The Hidden Dangers of Disconnection—Why Remote Teams Struggle Remote work has its perks—flexibility, no commute, the comfort of home—but it also comes with significant risks, particularly when it comes to team cohesion. When team members are miles apart, the sense of connection that naturally forms in an office can quickly deteriorate. This disconnection doesn’t just make meetings awkward; it lays the groundwork for dysfunctional behavior.
In remote meetings, the lack of physical presence makes it easier for participants to disengage, misunderstand each other, or hide behind technology to avoid confrontation. Miscommunication becomes rampant, and small issues that could have been resolved with a quick in-person conversation snowball into major conflicts. Before you know it, your meetings have devolved into unproductive sessions where dysfunction is the norm.
Dysfunction in the Digital Age—The New Rules of Engagement The first step in combating dysfunctional behavior in remote meetings is to establish clear rules of engagement tailored to the virtual environment. Traditional meeting norms don’t always translate well to video calls, where technical issues, time delays, and the lack of non-verbal cues can lead to frustration and confusion.
- Set Clear Expectations: Remote meetings require even more structure than in-person ones. Distribute a detailed agenda in advance, and make sure everyone knows what’s expected of them. Clarify who should speak and when, and establish norms for muting microphones, using the chat function, and sharing screens.
- Cameras On, Distractions Off: In a virtual setting, it’s easy to hide behind a turned-off camera and multitask. To foster accountability and engagement, make it a rule that cameras should be on unless there’s a good reason otherwise. This helps recreate some of the social pressure of an in-person meeting, making it harder for participants to tune out.
- Facilitate Active Participation: Without the natural flow of in-person conversation, it’s easy for remote meetings to be dominated by one or two voices. Use features like the “raise hand” button, or go around the virtual room to ensure everyone has a chance to contribute. Encourage quieter members to speak up and actively manage any over-talking.
The Digital Disruptors—Common Dysfunctional Behaviors in Remote Meetings Dysfunctional behaviors that were once subtle in in-person meetings can become glaringly obvious in a remote setting. Here’s how to identify and address them:
- The Invisible Participant: This is the person who shows up to the meeting but contributes nothing. They might be dealing with distractions, or they might simply be disengaged. To counter this, directly ask for their input or assign specific roles or tasks during the meeting. This encourages them to stay engaged and participate actively.
- The Over-Talker: In remote meetings, some people may feel the need to dominate the conversation, perhaps to compensate for the lack of physical presence. This can stifle others and lead to frustration. To manage this, set time limits for individual contributions, and rotate speaking opportunities to ensure balanced participation.
- The Technical Blamer: Some participants might frequently blame technical issues—like a bad connection or audio problems—for their lack of engagement. While technical difficulties are real, they can also become a convenient excuse for disengagement. Encourage participants to test their equipment before meetings and have a backup plan in place, like dial-in options, to mitigate these issues.
- The Side-Chatter: Private chats during a meeting can create silos and exclude others from important conversations. To prevent this, set a rule that all relevant discussions should happen in the main chat or aloud. This keeps the conversation transparent and inclusive.
Bringing Focus Back—How to Refocus a Derailing Remote Meeting Even with the best-laid plans, remote meetings can sometimes go off the rails. Here’s how to get things back on track:
- Refocus the Agenda: If the conversation strays off-topic, gently steer it back to the agenda. You can say something like, “This is an important point, but let’s park it for now and come back to it if we have time at the end.”
- Address Conflict Directly: If tensions are rising or disagreements are becoming personal, don’t ignore it. Address the conflict head-on by acknowledging the differing opinions and suggesting a way forward. For example, you might say, “It seems like we have different perspectives on this. Let’s take a moment to hear both sides and then decide how to proceed.”
- Use Breakout Rooms: If the meeting is too large or the discussion is getting unwieldy, use breakout rooms to divide participants into smaller groups. This can make the conversation more manageable and give everyone a chance to speak.
The Long-Term Fix—Building a Culture of Accountability in Remote Teams Stopping dysfunctional behavior in remote meetings isn’t just about quick fixes; it requires building a culture of accountability and engagement over the long term. Here’s how:
- Regular Check-Ins: Schedule regular one-on-one check-ins with team members to address any concerns or frustrations before they spill over into meetings. These conversations can help you identify and address issues early.
- Feedback Loops: Create a culture where feedback is both given and received regularly. After meetings, solicit feedback on what went well and what could be improved. Use this input to adjust your approach to future meetings.
- Celebrate Successes: Don’t forget to acknowledge and celebrate when things go right. Whether it’s a successful meeting or a particularly productive discussion, recognizing these moments can reinforce positive behavior and encourage more of the same.
Conclusion: Don’t Let Dysfunction Destroy Your Remote Meetings Remote work is here to stay, and with it, the challenges of running effective virtual meetings. Dysfunctional behavior in these settings can quickly derail productivity, undermine team cohesion, and lead to frustration all around. But by setting clear expectations, fostering active participation, and addressing issues head-on, you can stop dysfunction before it takes hold.
Remember, your remote meetings are a reflection of your team’s overall health. By taking steps to ensure they run smoothly, you’re not just preventing dysfunction—you’re setting your team up for long-term success in a digital world.
Don’t let virtual chaos take over; take control of your meetings and watch your team thrive.
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Founders often carry a mythic aura, celebrated for their vision, charisma, and relentless drive. They are the bold risk-takers who disrupt industries, change lives, and will entire markets into existence. These narratives—as addictive as they are—often lead to an unfortunate misconception: that sheer genius is enough to scale a startup. It isn’t. Vision alone might get you through the knife-fight phase of a startup’s life, but when it’s time to scale, your brilliance can become a bottleneck. Founders who cling to the illusion that they can power through scaling challenges with charisma and creativity often fail spectacularly. This blog is a wake-up call for founders, potential founders, failed founders, and investors alike: genius alone will not carry you to the finish line. What separates the startups that thrive from those that crumble is not brilliance but the ability to build enduring systems, structures, and processes. Let’s dispel the myths and explore the unseen and often unglamorous work that founders need to master if they hope to turn a scrappy startup into a billion-dollar business. Myth 1: Vision Is Everything Most founders are natural Visionary Evangelists. They see around corners, spot market opportunities, and inspire teams with their bold ideas. Investors bet on these qualities, and for good reason: vision is what ignites the startup engine. But as the company grows, the same traits that propelled its early success can become liabilities. Vision without structure leads to chaos. Founders can’t just "will" their companies to scale. At some point, the organization’s complexity will outstrip the founder’s ability to manage it. The lack of clear systems and processes creates bottlenecks, frustrates teams, and erodes trust. Reality Check: Vision is critical, but it’s not a substitute for operational rigor. Scaling requires founders to translate their big ideas into actionable, repeatable systems. Without this bridge between strategy and execution, even the most promising startups will stall. Myth 2: The Founder’s Hustle Will Carry the Team In the early days, startups thrive on heroic efforts. Founders wear multiple hats, pulling all-nighters and stepping in wherever there’s a gap. This scrappy hustle becomes a badge of honor, an identity. But as the team grows, this approach becomes unsustainable and even destructive. Here’s the problem: many founders struggle to let go. They micromanage, make unilateral decisions, and refuse to delegate. Why? Because they’ve convinced themselves that no one else can match their passion or capability. This creates a toxic dynamic where the founder becomes the bottleneck, stalling progress and demoralizing their team. Reality Check: Hustle is not a scalable strategy. Founders must transition from being the hero to being the architect of systems that empower others to execute effectively. This means delegating, coaching, and trusting their team to own outcomes. Myth 3: Startups Should Avoid Bureaucracy The word “bureaucracy” sends chills down the spines of most founders. Isn’t the whole point of a startup to move fast and break things? Isn’t bureaucracy the enemy of innovation? Not exactly. While startups should avoid unnecessary red tape, the absence of structure often leads to inefficiency and burnout. Teams waste time reinventing the wheel because there’s no documented process. Priorities shift on a whim, leaving employees confused and disengaged. Founders who reject all forms of process in the name of agility often end up with chaos instead of speed. Reality Check: Scaling startups need “just enough” process to provide clarity and direction. Think of processes as guardrails, not handcuffs. They should enable agility, not stifle it. Myth 4: Scaling Is About Adding More Resources When startups hit growing pains, the instinctive reaction is to throw more resources at the problem: hire more people, buy better tools, raise more money. While these are sometimes necessary, they’re rarely sufficient. Scaling isn’t just about doing more; it’s about doing better. Consider this: doubling your team without clear systems in place will only amplify inefficiencies. Throwing money at problems without solving root causes leads to waste. Founders who equate scaling with “more” often find themselves with bloated organizations that are slow and unprofitable. Reality Check: Scaling is about improving efficiency and effectiveness. Before adding more resources, founders need to optimize their existing processes to handle greater complexity. What Successful Founders Do Differently So, what separates the founders who successfully scale their startups from those who don’t? Here are the key actions they take: 1. Re-engineer Inefficient Processes Successful founders don’t just patch over inefficiencies; they dig deep to redesign broken systems. They prioritize scalability from the start, asking questions like: “Can this process handle 10x growth?” If the answer is no, they fix it. 2. Shift from Doer to Leader Founders who scale learn to let go of day-to-day tasks and focus on strategic leadership. This means empowering their team to own decisions and outcomes while providing clear guidance and support. 3. Invest in People and Culture Scaling isn’t just about systems; it’s also about people. Great founders invest in hiring top talent, developing their team’s capabilities, and creating a culture that aligns with their values and vision. 4. Embrace Feedback and Adaptation Scaling is a messy process that requires constant iteration. Founders who thrive are those who actively seek feedback from their team, customers, and investors—and use it to refine their approach. 5. Build Operational Discipline This is where many founders falter. Operational discipline means setting clear goals, tracking progress, and holding people accountable. It’s about creating a rhythm of execution that ensures the company delivers on its promises. A Challenge to Founders If you’re a founder, ask yourself: Are you still trying to do everything yourself? Do your teams know their priorities, or are they constantly scrambling to figure out what matters most? Are your processes built to scale, or are you just winging it? Be honest. The answers to these questions will reveal whether you’re truly ready to scale your company or if you’re standing in your own way. For potential founders: Don’t romanticize the hustle. Building a startup requires more than just a big idea and hard work. Be prepared to master the unsexy, behind-the-scenes work of creating systems and structures that enable growth. For failed founders: Reflect on where things went wrong. Was it a lack of vision, or was it the inability to scale operations? Use those lessons to rebuild stronger. For investors: Stop glorifying the lone genius. Look for founders who are not just visionary but disciplined in execution. Invest in those who are willing to grow alongside their companies. The Takeaway Scaling is not a magical process that happens when you raise enough money or hire enough people. It’s a deliberate, disciplined effort to build the systems, structures, and processes that allow your company to grow sustainably. Vision might light the fire, but operational excellence keeps it burning. For founders willing to do the hard work, the rewards are immense. The ability to scale beyond genius is what separates the unicorns from the also-rans. The question is: are you ready to put in the work?

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Ethical Decision-Making: These leaders prioritize ethical considerations, making decisions that align with their values rather than taking shortcuts for short-term gains. Accountability: They own their mistakes, modeling humility and responsibility for their teams. Take Howard Schultz, the former CEO of Starbucks, as an example. Schultz demonstrated integrity by prioritizing ethical sourcing, offering healthcare benefits to part-time employees, and fostering a culture of respect and inclusion. His leadership not only built a globally respected brand but also created an environment where employees felt valued, and customers felt connected to the company’s mission. According to a comprehensive review of the literature, leaders who demonstrate integrity cultivate stronger trust among their teams, improve morale, and enhance overall organizational performance. The ripple effects of their behavior extend to organizational reputation, customer loyalty, and financial success. Values as the Leader’s Guiding Light Values are the principles that define what is most important to an individual or organization. For leaders, values serve as a decision-making framework, shaping their behavior and influencing their teams. Leaders who model and promote core values create a strong organizational culture where employees feel aligned and inspired. In our study of the best leaders, the following behaviors stood out: Leading by Example: The best leaders don’t just articulate values; they embody them. Their behavior demonstrates the standards they expect from others. High Standards of Conduct: These leaders maintain impeccable personal and professional standards, setting a tone that permeates their teams and organizations. Promoting Organizational Values: By aligning their behavior with the organization’s mission and vision, these leaders reinforce the importance of shared values. Brian Chesky, CEO of Airbnb, exemplified these principles during the COVID-19 pandemic. Faced with difficult decisions, Chesky ensured that laid-off employees received generous severance packages and career support. His transparent and empathetic approach reinforced Airbnb’s values and preserved the company’s reputation during a challenging time. The literature supports these findings, emphasizing that when leaders align personal and organizational values, it leads to increased job satisfaction, higher productivity, and reduced turnover. Trust: The Currency of Leadership Integrity and values contribute to the most critical currency a leader possesses: trust. Leaders who consistently demonstrate integrity earn the confidence of their employees, stakeholders, and customers. This trust forms the foundation of effective collaboration, open communication, and organizational resilience. Our research showed that trust was a hallmark of the best leaders. They were described as dependable, reliable, and fair. Their actions consistently reflected their commitments, which inspired loyalty and respect. Paul Polman, former CEO of Unilever, is a shining example of how integrity builds trust. Polman led Unilever with a focus on sustainability and social responsibility, proving that profitability and ethical practices can coexist. His leadership attracted like-minded stakeholders, enhanced the company’s reputation, and set a benchmark for ethical corporate governance. Building trust, however, is not a one-time effort. It requires continuous reinforcement through ethical behavior, transparency, and accountability. As one executive in our study remarked, “Trust takes years to build, seconds to break, and forever to repair.” The Downside of Losing Integrity The stakes for leaders who fail to model integrity are high. Our review of business failures, including infamous cases like Enron and Theranos, highlights how a lack of ethical leadership can lead to catastrophic outcomes. Leaders who compromise their values for short-term gains risk not only their reputations but also the viability of their organizations. The Enron scandal was rooted in accounting fraud and ethical violations by top executives who prioritized personal gain over organizational integrity. Similarly, Elizabeth Holmes of Theranos allowed ambition to override honesty, leading to the downfall of a once-promising company. These examples underscore the importance of ethical leadership in avoiding reputational and financial disaster. Expanding the Legacy: The Ripple Effects of Integrity Leaders who model integrity extend their influence far beyond their immediate teams. They create a ripple effect that shapes organizational culture, industry standards, and even societal expectations. A consistent pattern in our research is that ethical leaders inspire ethical behavior at all levels of the organization, amplifying their impact. 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Lead by Example: Demonstrate your values through consistent actions. Be the behavior you wish to see in your team. Be Transparent: Openly communicate your decisions and the values guiding them. Transparency builds trust and accountability. Own Your Mistakes: When you fall short, acknowledge it. Use failures as an opportunity to model humility and resilience. Seek Feedback: Regularly solicit input from your team to understand how your behavior aligns with your values. This fosters self-awareness and continuous improvement. Promote Organizational Values: Reinforce the importance of shared values by embedding them into your organization’s culture and decision-making processes. Practice Ethical Decision-Making: Develop a habit of evaluating decisions through an ethical lens. Ask yourself how your choices align with your values and their impact on others. Amplify Your Influence: Leverage your position to mentor others, advocate for ethical practices, and inspire your industry to prioritize integrity. An Inspiring Legacy The best leaders are not only successful but also admired for their integrity and values. Their influence extends beyond organizational performance to leave a lasting legacy of trust, inspiration, and ethical conduct. As leaders, we must constantly ask ourselves: What kind of legacy are we building? In the words of one of the best leaders from our study, “Leadership isn’t about being in charge; it’s about taking care of those in your charge.” By prioritizing integrity and living by our values, we can inspire those around us and build organizations that stand the test of time. As you reflect on this, revisit the challenges I outlined in Founders Keepers —the pressures, greed, and power that can erode integrity. Let this serve as a reminder to stay grounded in your values and lead with unwavering commitment to what is right. Success is fleeting, but integrity endures.
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